Before the Darkness
by abetha0808
Summary: Lokane AU. What if Loki had never gone as dark as he did? What if his mischief remained just that- mischief, and not the chaos that corrupted his soul? Jane was waiting for Thor- not his little brother. Loki was getting ready for a coronation- not planning to fall into the future. "Magic is just science we don't understand yet." And if there's one thing Jane loves, it's a challenge
1. Falling

Loki got ready slowly, ensuring that he looked just right. After all, it wasn't every day that his brother would become king. He was in a rather somber mood indeed as he pulled the pieces of his armor on- by hand instead of magic this time. He was going to ruin the whole thing for his brother, whom he loved dearly.

He had to.

Thor wasn't ready; Loki knew he wasn't. He was arrogant, reckless, too quick to violence. As much as Loki disagreed with his father on almost every count, Thor still had much to learn from him. However, since Odin had decided that the coronation would take place anyway, Loki had assumed the weighty responsibility of delaying it.

It would enrage Thor to no end. And in his fury, he would he susceptible to Loki's subtle suggestion of how utterly_ impossible_ it would be to go after the Frost Giants that he'd have secretly let in. Thus acting like the mindless warrior he could be sometimes, Thor would show the All-Father that he wasn't ready and probably not even reach the frozen rock of a realm before Heimdall pulled them back. The plan was perfect. No one would get hurt. Well. A few Jotuns perhaps, but they were monsters anyway, not of consequence.

Before the ceremony itself, Loki clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder, smiling to hide the fact that he truly did regret what he was about to do.

"How do I look?" Thor asked, a hint of rare nervousness in his voice.

Loki answered with complete honesty, and a trace of sadness for what he had to do. "Like a king."

The Thunderer left to his adoring crowds, and Loki knelt to perform the difficult magic that would bring the beasts into the weapons vault. It was a matter of reaching into one realm and pulling what he grasped into his own world, difficult for even the most proficient with seidr. He closed his eyes in concentration when a loud pop from the fireplace startled him enough that he fell sideways, through the portal he'd half-created into Norns-know-where. As he fell, he closed his eyes, dreading where- and when- he would land.

...

Jane tapped her pencil on her notebook, sighing. Work was not going to get done today, she could feel it. Mostly ignoring the groans of the large and extremely clunky homemade computer she'd named Barry during a seriously long and particularly lonely night, Jane got up from the desk and went for a walk.

Thor had been gone almost a year, but just a few days ago, she'd seen him on TV. In New York of all places, he'd been fighting off an alien invasion which had apparently been led by his little brother Loki. But he hadn't bothered to stop and say hi. Hadn't bothered to see her, even for a minute. She'd waited and cried and searched for him for a long time. And frankly, she wasn't going to wait any more.

She wasn't sure if he had ever cared. She wasn't sure if she really had loved him, or just the idea. She wasn't sure of anything lately. Her purple rainboots turned a corner, following a familiar path. In the little town of Puente Antiguo, there weren't many places to go, but the fresh air of the desert town, Jane found, did wonders to help clear the mind. Usually.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't realize there was someone stopped on the sidewalk in front of her until she hit them dead-on, falling onto the ground, notebook flying out of her arms.

"Ow! Oh- jeez! I'm so sorry," she apologized, gathering her notebook up.

The man extended a gracious hand to help her up.

"That's quite alright," he said politely. "Are you hurt?"

Jane brushed herself off. "Oh, no, I'm f-" She stopped, jaw dropping as her eyes made their way up to the man's face.

Loki. In full armor and everything, standing before her. Loki.

Her eyes widened and she took a stumbling step back, much to his obvious surprise.

"I'm sorry," he began in a gentle voice, one that might be used to approach a frightened animal, "Have we met?" Loki glanced at her, and around the deserted square, eyes skimming across the fronts of stores. He ran a hand in front of his body, and with a greenish-gold shimmer, the armor and helm faded into a pair of dark jeans and a forest green collared shirt. "I am Loki Odinson of Asgard," he introduced himself.

Jane gaped wordlessly for a long moment. So many alarm bells were going off in her head. Firstly, wasn't he supposed to be in jail right now? Not parading the streets of the planet he'd attempted to take over? And 'Odinson'? Bruce Banner hadn't found out much about the trickster that he could tell his friend, but what Thor had said was that Loki's whole rage was basically over the fact that he was not, in fact, a son of Odin. Either this was a poorly planned trick…no, that wasn't something Loki would do. His plans were much more subtle.

The second thing that came to her mind was some form of amnesia. Had he forgotten who he was? But that wouldn't explain why he was out of jail or whatever punishment Asgard had concocted for him. Jane stared at him openly for a few more moments. _Facts. He's not acting hostile right now. He doesn't know who he is. Or me. I think._

"I'm sorry," she apologized, "I…thought I recognized you. I thought you were someone…else," she lied. "I'm Jane Foster…of Midgard," she added, feeling a bit strange to introduce herself as such.

Loki nodded, and it was clear that he thought her a bit dim, which already bothered Jane.

"I know your brother," she added, gauging his expression for a reaction.

He smiled widely at first, although an expression of mock tragedy took over quickly.

"Do you? What a pity, Thor always gets to the pretty ones first," he said smiling down at her. "He's never spoken to me about you before…perhaps he wanted to keep you a secret." He added with a wink.

"Oh, I, um…didn't spend very much time with him," Jane clarified, scuffing the bottom of the rubber boot on the sidewalk.

Loki's features shifted into a more genuine expression, a touch of sympathy in them.

"Many women _know_ Thor briefly," he said. "He tends to be rather fickle…I'm sorry if he has hurt you, Jane Foster, I am sure that was not his intention."

"It's fine. I'm over it. I have work to do." She shrugged dismissively although she was sure it was painfully obvious that she still cared a little.

His cautious nod made it clear that he saw through the words, but the smile on his lips let her know he was not going to press the issue, for which she was thankful. "What kind of work?" he asked curiously, still studying her with those alarmingly green eyes.

"Oh. I'm an astrophysicist," she explained. "I study the movements of planets and stars…I'm actually trying to figure out how the Bïfrost works," she added, excitement brightening her eyes as it always did when she spoke about her work. Jane hefted the notebook in her hands, flipping a few pages of equations for him to see.

Loki studied the lines of numbers with interest, pausing on a few in particular before looking into her eyes. "You-" he chuckled incredulously. "You're actually very close," he said, delightedly surprised.

Jane beamed up at him for a moment before remembering who he was. _Loki. Bad guy_. She shut the book again, tucking it back under her arm.

"I would very much like to spend more time with you, Jane," Loki said, cocking his head to the side slightly. "But I'm afraid I will have to come back later- I have a rather important engagement today. Now, actually."

Jane raised an eyebrow. "And what's that?"

Loki sighed, running a hand through his black hair. "My brother's coronation."

She stood in shock, but he was already back in his own mind, thinking too much to notice. He bent and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

"If you'll allow it, I'll come visit you again," he said, closing his eyes. Magic blurred his edges, but did nothing more. He stood, sweet smile gone, glancing at his palms, the sky, the ground and breathing quickly. And nothing happened.

"You okay there?" Jane asked tentatively.

"My-" he gasped, "my magic, it's-" Loki snapped, a green flame appearing in his palm that shifted into a rabbit, a girl, and back to a flame before disappearing. His eyes were frightened and mournful when they met Jane's again. "My power is gone," he murmured.


	2. Streams

Loki looked just as out of place in her new house as Thor would have, Jane decided as he sat at the kitchen table, chin in his hand, thinking hard. He was reduced to simple tricks, little illusions and very basic transformations- none of his real power. It blew his mind, as did the magical wards he had found on himself- shielding him from Heimdall's view against his own will. It appeared, he had said, that they were in fact his own wards, but he now lacked the strength to remove them. For the time being, he was stranded on Midgard. And staying in Jane's house.

What else was she supposed to do with him? She'd highly considered turning him right over to SHIELD. Now that she was consulting for them, they'd actually listen to her and take her seriously. But it felt wrong. This Loki was unrecognizable as the same one who terrorized New York. In fact, he hadn't done it yet.

Jane wasn't quite sure how it was even possible, but she was beginning to theorize that he'd managed to accidentally fall forward though time. What she wondered, was if the other Loki still existed. If he did, she mused, things would get _really_ messy.

Apart from his innocence (at the moment, anyway), Jane was curious who this guy _was_ that Thor loved him so much, despite his crimes and multiple attempts to kill him. Her mother used to tell her that 'curiosity killed the cat', and her dad would add 'but only because it wasn't wearing lab goggles'. Jane was past trying to resist her curiosity; it was too deeply rooted in her nature. She would try to find out about this guy, but she would have to be careful.

Jane felt bad for him at the moment, staring at the table with a lost-puppy look. "Want some tea or something?" she offered, trying to pull him out of his current state.

He smiled up at her, shaking off the traces of the dark mood. "Yes, please," he replied. "That would be lovely."

She pulled the kettle out and filled it, setting it on the stove. Turning, she crouched by the bottom cabinet. "What kind do you want? Darcy keeps stealing the chai, but I've got black and green." Jane spun around at a sudden shrieking from the kettle. "What!?" She had just put it on, she was sure.

Loki grinned, looking rather pleased with her reaction. He hopped up and sat on the counter, wiggling his fingers. "Magic, darling, remember?"

Jane narrowed her eyes. "How does it work? It's not possible…you just- Well it is possible. You're manipulating energy, that's it. But how did you transfer so much heat into the water so quickly? Without a reaction of some kind, I just can't imagine how you're changing the speed the particles are moving so quickly."

Loki seemed a bit confused, but he took Jane's hand and pulled her close beside him, placing her palm above his. "There is a flow of energy," he explained, "in everything, in everyone. Only a select few can feel it, fewer still can tap into it and use that energy for their own purposes." As he spoke, a green flame appeared and sat in her hand, but did not burn her. "This is simple, mere illusion," he said, smiling at her wondrous expression. "I can make it a true flame, if I so wish, or I can cause it to change forms."

She stroked the little flame with a fingertip, finding no heat, only a tickling sensation something like static electricity. "Is it localized on your palm? Your ability?"

He grinned and slid off the countertop, winding an arm through hers, leading her to the tiny bathroom in the hall. "Let me show you."

Jane started, for once, to feel nervous. His charming way of speaking and being had put her so at ease that she'd almost forgotten who he was, but as he shut the door and left them both in the dark, her heart sped a little, brown eyes widening.

He let out a soft breath and then, the dark room filled with stars. Constellations unlike any she'd ever seen before, nebulas, moons. The patterns of light made her jaw drop, and she laughed in pure surprised delight. "Oh my gosh," she murmured, hands up against her mouth. "Oh my gosh."

"These are Asgard's skies," he said softly. "My stars. This is your field of study...I thought you might like to see them."

Jane scooped a group of the lights into her hands, feeling like she held the galaxy, although she knew it was just an illusion. "They're so beautiful," she sighed. "I love them."

Loki leaned forward, arms around her, covering the stars in her hands. He grunted quietly, and with a thud, something heavy landed in Jane's hands. "Keep them, then."

* * *

Thor had his brother by the arm, marching him forward to see their father. His father. Not Loki's. Sometimes it took Thor a moment to remember, to go through the realization again that his brother was in fact…not. He refused to think of Loki that way, as anything less than flesh and blood. Even now, dragging him forward to get his punishment, Thor wished for the right words for him. _I am sorry. I still love you, brother mine. I wish things had been different for you. I want everything to return to how it was. I am so sorry._

Loki turned as they approached the door of Odin's throne room, opening his mouth as if to say something. He was too bitter now to apologize, even to his brother, possibly the only person besides the All-Mother who didn't loathe him. But he could try to say something. _Silver tongue turned to lead again_. And then his expression changed. The unmistakable reach of magic, pulling at him. His eyes widened and he reached for his brother the same way he used to as a child, and then he was gone. With a snap, Loki disappeared, the handcuffs falling to the ground with a thud- and his last thought before he was gone was a repeat of words once said to him: _there will be no hidden crevice, no barren moon where he cannot find you…_

* * *

The little ball of stars retained its nebulaic qualities. Jane could pick out individual stars and carry them around, and gradually, they would gravitate back to their original positions in the little, strangely heavy cloud that was currently functioning as a part-time paperweight, part-time nightlight.

Loki remained a both distraction from work and a bundle of dilemmas. There was a part of Jane that still considered turning him in to SHIELD, mostly on days when she opened her closet and everything had been changed to silky dresses, or a thousand emerald butterflies flew out of her computer screen. But he was actually strangely helpful in a lot of ways. They bickered about which equations went where and why this or that was wrong, eventually resulting in far more progress than she'd have made alone.

He was intriguing on every front. Jane could see no evidence of the monster who had terrorized New York City, but it left her wondering where /that/ Loki was. Amnesia was her current theory, but…it just didn't seem right. Asgardians (and Jotuns, she figured, in Loki's case, although he didn't know that) were so hardy that she began to wonder how he'd possibly forget. Magic? It seemed unlikely.

"Please try," she begged, doe eyes beseeching. "I just…I can't understand."

Loki sighed and knelt in front of her desk chair. "Basically, what I was trying to do…I was…looking for something. Someone. Several someones. But the point is, to bring them to where I was, when I wanted them to arrive, I had to reach across two streams." He took her hands and pulled them out, leaving her arms outstretched. Loki's hand wound over one arm and under the other, grabbing the pen off her desk. His eyes met hers, and he paused there for a moment.

"Your left arm is time, and the right one is space, yes, dear?"  
Jane's cheeks flushed slightly at the nickname he'd begun to employ lately, but she nodded. "Why does time have to be involved? Doesn't that mean you could…change anything? Time travel?"

Loki shook his head. "That's… I don't know. It's the way it works, and no, not…necessarily. Technically, yes, I suppose that does mean it could be possible, but time is not like space. Space is…picture a calm river, flowing at a predictable pace. Time is turbulent and has almost no rules. That's why," he nudged her arm again, "I go over this one, to avoid getting caught up in it. Should one go into the future, things would get incredibly messy. The past, I imagine, would be even more so."

He sat back, pulling the pen over one of her arms and under the other. Spinning it between two fingers, the ballpoint became a red rose, which Loki offered to her with a smile. "Do you understand better now?"

Jane lifted the bloom to her nose to smell before answering. "I think so. You're saying that you fell into the space 'stream'. How do you know you didn't fall into time?"

Loki's brows furrowed in a look of polite confusion. "Well…I suppose I don't, but…why?" His eyes narrowed slightly. "Do you think I moved through time? You were very alarmed when you first met me...as if you knew me?"

Jane shook her head. "I'd never met you, I just…like I said, Thor spoke about you. And of course I was alarmed, you just _appeared_ out of nowhere. On Earth, that's a disconcerting thing to see," she protested hotly.

Loki seemed to accept her explanation, already distracted by her phone lighting up with a text. "Doesn't this do the same thing? Reach through space with voices? And letters?"

"No, that uses satellites," Jane explained, already starting to make a diagram on her whiteboard. "It's very different, see, this sends a signal up here…"

She wondered if he could tell, that her explanation was halfhearted, that she was struggling with a mountain of guilt she had no idea what to do with. To tell him the truth might tear him apart...or make him once again the man who would terrorize New York City. Right now, he was so much more innocent, so...bright. Jane justified keeping who he was known to Earth as, what'd he'd done a secret when she thought of the darkness she was saving him from.


End file.
